FUCK YOU!!

It pisses me off every time someone makes fun of the music I listen to. They say, ”ooohh!!….kya bakwaas is this yaar!! This is not music!! Its just some asshole screaming at the top of his voice like a madman!!…its all bullshit!!”

Bullshit!!.. I wish these people knew what they were talking about.
Rock !!Heavy metal, is no just a kind of music! It’s a way of life.. and common thread that connects the FEW who identify with that line of thought!

My first tryst with rock came ages ago, when I was in my 6th standard! ( a seeda saada bhola bhala baccha!!) MTV was once classy, and cable was still good and on the screen came a band named.."pearl jam"..and the song …"JEREMY"!!!
The kind of effect that song, the intensity, the video had on a 10 year old kid was amazing..I was HOOKED!!

Listening to pop, ballads and love songs,disco techno is all fine. But somehow I was never able to connect to their kind!
But the frustration, the anger, the urge to just break free!! Lose all control of myself and to scream out loud!!….it was ..( IS)…enchanting!!!!

He’s lost!!…lost in the world he lives in!!..lost in the world he WANTS to live in!! He tries to find meaning of his existence, to find a purpose! He knows not what to do or where to look, whom to ask! All alone!
And slowly , fear sets in,eating him away! Dragging his mind deeper into what new terrible darkness that he cannot fathom!!

He looks around to find some ray of hope. Anything to save him from his ever nearing doom! ..but nothing comes..He wants to cry out loud, run like hell!! But the chains are already tightening around him, tying him to the ground!
His life till date has been worthless, he tries to look ahead ..hoping for a bright side.. and still there’s naught to see!!
And unending desert of nothingness that is HIS life!!

As he sits cramped in his 4x4 cubicle, his hands on the keyboard, eyes aimlessly moving about the wooden walls that surround him! Suffocating him! His mind lost somewhere in his subconscious dream! The music comes to him.It takes him away to world where for once he’s no longer alone, and troubled.
Free for once, happy for a while.
And as he head bang’s his misery away! He feels ALIVE!!..Yeah!YeaH!YEAH!!

but only for a while….

His Project Lead comes storming through from the back and begins his usual nagging about responsibilities,deadlines and brings along a shitload of codes that he has to write, link and debug !!Reality hits back with a vengeance.. and there he comes back again every time.. in his 4x4 cubicle.

He looks at the monitor ,it has a picture of his wonderful innocent childhood as background... And laughs! A sad, desperate insane laugh!!…..

the child on the screen laughs back at him!!