FUCK YOU!!

It pisses me off every time someone makes fun of the music I listen to. They say, ”ooohh!!….kya bakwaas is this yaar!! This is not music!! Its just some asshole screaming at the top of his voice like a madman!!…its all bullshit!!”

Bullshit!!.. I wish these people knew what they were talking about.
Rock !!Heavy metal, is no just a kind of music! It’s a way of life.. and common thread that connects the FEW who identify with that line of thought!

My first tryst with rock came ages ago, when I was in my 6th standard! ( a seeda saada bhola bhala baccha!!) MTV was once classy, and cable was still good and on the screen came a band named.."pearl jam"..and the song …"JEREMY"!!!
The kind of effect that song, the intensity, the video had on a 10 year old kid was amazing..I was HOOKED!!

Listening to pop, ballads and love songs,disco techno is all fine. But somehow I was never able to connect to their kind!
But the frustration, the anger, the urge to just break free!! Lose all control of myself and to scream out loud!!….it was ..( IS)…enchanting!!!!

He’s lost!!…lost in the world he lives in!!..lost in the world he WANTS to live in!! He tries to find meaning of his existence, to find a purpose! He knows not what to do or where to look, whom to ask! All alone!
And slowly , fear sets in,eating him away! Dragging his mind deeper into what new terrible darkness that he cannot fathom!!

He looks around to find some ray of hope. Anything to save him from his ever nearing doom! ..but nothing comes..He wants to cry out loud, run like hell!! But the chains are already tightening around him, tying him to the ground!
His life till date has been worthless, he tries to look ahead ..hoping for a bright side.. and still there’s naught to see!!
And unending desert of nothingness that is HIS life!!

As he sits cramped in his 4x4 cubicle, his hands on the keyboard, eyes aimlessly moving about the wooden walls that surround him! Suffocating him! His mind lost somewhere in his subconscious dream! The music comes to him.It takes him away to world where for once he’s no longer alone, and troubled.
Free for once, happy for a while.
And as he head bang’s his misery away! He feels ALIVE!!..Yeah!YeaH!YEAH!!

but only for a while….

His Project Lead comes storming through from the back and begins his usual nagging about responsibilities,deadlines and brings along a shitload of codes that he has to write, link and debug !!Reality hits back with a vengeance.. and there he comes back again every time.. in his 4x4 cubicle.

He looks at the monitor ,it has a picture of his wonderful innocent childhood as background... And laughs! A sad, desperate insane laugh!!…..

the child on the screen laughs back at him!!

Déjà vu...

This is how it goes for us,
We get stuck invariably...
I cannot take my words back
And you just won't answer me..

kya yaar!!

FREEWAY!!

HEY!! HEY!! HEY!!

So, we meet again!!
All the silent vows of never looking back,
left far behind,
to make room for a long forgotten hope..
that will destroy, both YOU and ME.

It was eventually written on the stars,
that all the freeways we walked upon,
will lead us back, to where it all begin..

And the mutual need for each others ill desired company,
will bind us together,
and do us in.....

AAMEN!!

Mera Naam JOKER!!

“Jaante Ho Duniya Ka Sabse Bada Joker Kaun Hai?

Woh Uparwaala!!

How true???
Life's a big Circus in itself and we,though think to live and be a part of it,but sometimes we are no more than mere spectators to it. Witness to a great show called Life-- our own very life,we laugh at our helplessness, knowing fully well that we are losing our happiness,losing what we always wanted,what we always desired.

Indeed that's the life of a joker!!!

"But...then the Question remains,Who`s the Joker"?

“Aaj Raju Ko Mat Roko; Aaj Ussey Duniya Ko Saabit Karna Hai Ki Duniya Ka Sabse Bada Joker Wahi Hai” :) :)

the rear view..

I remember,
failing in the History exam in VI,
I wept till my eyes turned pink...
was new in the school, teacher gave an ugly look,
said..another looser comes here..
Don't wanted to face Dad..
felt like running away somewhere..

I remember,
the Finals with APS,L in XI,
last wicket,eight runs per over..
A freaky bowler and an aching head,
but the game depends on me the coach said...
The very second ball, I saw my bails go in the air,
disappointed,deserted, disintegrated everything i was,
wanted the pitch to sink and fossilize me than and there..

I remember,
my breakup in the III yr,
I ran and ran to catch up the time,
hoping like always some,how i 'll make things fine.
nothing got sorted, time dint stop
saw my pyramid of hope, crumbling from the top..
Realising not all life's best things stay forever...

I remember Roomil leaving us forever, last year,
I didn't cry, not even a single tear,
Stood dere and watched my bestest buddy go up in flames..
Just felt like looking up and asking god..
why was I the chosen one always here..

As I sit here and remember.
a billion such craps that i have survived..
fell ,rose and fell again,
but never gave up int the game called life..

I might not have still figured ,
how winning is done..
but some how along the course of life I have learned,
the way living is done..

though the elementary lesson of cricket still hold on,
life is one bouncy track..
the ball will not always come on to your bat..
stay on the pitch,keep moving your feet..
Someday,you will learn to live that bouncy pitch..