Saturday, February 21, 2009
Adios!!
Initially when i started this blog in my 8th sem of college, i was going through much turmoil.For it was the time for the much awaited end of college days, but still it was giving an ache somewhere....the reason was incomprehensible. So I wanted to shout...shout it loud and puke all the crap going inside my head at one place.
Thankfully I did it and am glad that people liked it and reacted to it too..:).thank you all...
I am not deleating this blog as it has been a witness of my transformation from a bohemian college kid to a strict professional..so when i am back being a frustoo sod, i 'll come back here to remember the good old time...THE WONDER YEARS:):).
A few good things have suddenly came up in my way these days..First and the formost...i still can apply for naval aviation..so got a new path to go..possibly it will be more fun to be one....am elated..Secondly, Pratham-An east Delhi based NGO have granted me volunteering opportunity during weekend..and yeah am writing an article on "Quater Life Crisis"for The Viewspaper. I found the topic really interesting and identifying too,so.Do take a look.
So,Adios and all that crap..
regards,
Monk.
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"When i had nothing more to lose i was given everything, when i ceased to be who i am i found myself, when i experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, i understood that i was free to choose my destiny"
Paulo Coelho
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Sunday, February 1, 2009
INDOMITABLE!!!
in⋅dom⋅i⋅ta⋅ble
/ɪnˈdɒm| that cannot be subdued or overcome, as persons, will, or courage; unconquerable: an indomitable warrior. |
OR BETTER SEE THIS:
Hats off to you Salil da!! You rock man...
Wish I was also there..
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Highway to Danger Zone's Indian Version...
Behold on my silver steed,
Breathing fire, on wings of steel
I’ve raced the wind
I’ve ridden the storm
I’ve painted the azure sky
I’ve mocked the snowy peaks so high.
I’ve shattered the morning’s calm
And roared at the break of the dawn.
I’ve played hide n seek with the stars,
I’ve strolled in the playground of the Gods.
I’ve seen the angels in all their glory,
This is my life, it aint no story.
Everyday I walk the tightrope of life
I’m treading a thin sheet of ice
Death don’t frighten me any more
I’ve seen him near, I’ve felt him close.
I’m not afraid to die
I’ve lived my life to the fullest.
I envy no man
Cos I’ve sipped the nectar of the Gods.
The Gods they say,envy me
Cos I see what they get to see.
But yes I’m afraid, after I die
Will I ever get to fly.
Do not take away these wings from me
This is all I ask of thee.
And when I die do not cry for me
No dainty daisies, no wreath of flowers.
Few words on my grave which sum up my life,
A touch of glory and a mouthful of sky.
-Flg Officer Roomil Bhattacharya
(1985-2007)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Show Must go ON!!!!
The Show Must Go ON-Pink Floyd.
Must the show go on..
Oooh Pa take me home,
Oooh Ma let me go !!
There must be some mistake
I didn't mean to let them
Take away my soul
Am I too old is it too late
Oooh Ma Oooh Pa
Where has the feeling gone?
Oooh Ma Oooh Pa
Will I remember the songs?
Oooooh aah the show must go on.
Play-Rewind-Play...
I don't know what I am going through..but its something different..its not fear..not disappointment either...rather a cocktail of both. The reason is still incomprehensible to me..May be its because Bro left today...will get to see him in july again...or maybe my IAF dream ended officially today..with last absentee batch getting called...digesting the fact is still tough for me...seeing you childhood dream vanish,when u grow up... has always been!!
I don't know how am i going to make my way through these thing..but i know one thing I am sure about ..I am going to make my way..
Sooner or later.. i'll catch up..
Aamen!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
FUCK YOU!!
It pisses me off every time someone makes fun of the music I listen to. They say, ”ooohh!!….kya bakwaas is this yaar!! This is not music!! Its just some asshole screaming at the top of his voice like a madman!!…its all bullshit!!”
Bullshit!!.. I wish these people knew what they were talking about.
Rock !!Heavy metal, is no just a kind of music! It’s a way of life.. and common thread that connects the FEW who identify with that line of thought!
My first tryst with rock came ages ago, when I was in my 6th standard! ( a seeda saada bhola bhala baccha!!) MTV was once classy, and cable was still good and on the screen came a band named.."pearl jam"..and the song …"JEREMY"!!!
The kind of effect that song, the intensity, the video had on a 10 year old kid was amazing..I was HOOKED!!
Listening to pop, ballads and love songs,disco techno is all fine. But somehow I was never able to connect to their kind!
But the frustration, the anger, the urge to just break free!! Lose all control of myself and to scream out loud!!….it was ..( IS)…enchanting!!!!
He’s lost!!…lost in the world he lives in!!..lost in the world he WANTS to live in!! He tries to find meaning of his existence, to find a purpose! He knows not what to do or where to look, whom to ask! All alone!
And slowly , fear sets in,eating him away! Dragging his mind deeper into what new terrible darkness that he cannot fathom!!
He looks around to find some ray of hope. Anything to save him from his ever nearing doom! ..but nothing comes..He wants to cry out loud, run like hell!! But the chains are already tightening around him, tying him to the ground!
His life till date has been worthless, he tries to look ahead ..hoping for a bright side.. and still there’s naught to see!!
And unending desert of nothingness that is HIS life!!
As he sits cramped in his 4x4 cubicle, his hands on the keyboard, eyes aimlessly moving about the wooden walls that surround him! Suffocating him! His mind lost somewhere in his subconscious dream! The music comes to him.It takes him away to world where for once he’s no longer alone, and troubled.
Free for once, happy for a while.
And as he head bang’s his misery away! He feels ALIVE!!..Yeah!YeaH!YEAH!!
but only for a while….
His Project Lead comes storming through from the back and begins his usual nagging about responsibilities,deadlines and brings along a shitload of codes that he has to write, link and debug !!Reality hits back with a vengeance.. and there he comes back again every time.. in his 4x4 cubicle.
He looks at the monitor ,it has a picture of his wonderful innocent childhood as background... And laughs! A sad, desperate insane laugh!!…..
the child on the screen laughs back at him!!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Déjà vu...
We get stuck invariably...
I cannot take my words back
And you just won't answer me..
kya yaar!!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
FREEWAY!!
HEY!! HEY!! HEY!!So, we meet again!!
All the silent vows of never looking back,
left far behind,
to make room for a long forgotten hope..
that will destroy, both YOU and ME.
It was eventually written on the stars,
that all the freeways we walked upon,
will lead us back, to where it all begin..
And the mutual need for each others ill desired company,
will bind us together,
and do us in.....
AAMEN!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Mera Naam JOKER!!
How true???Life's a big Circus in itself and we,though think to live and be a part of it,but sometimes we are no more than mere spectators to it. Witness to a great show called Life-- our own very life,we laugh at our helplessness, knowing fully well that we are losing our happiness,losing what we always wanted,what we always desired.
Indeed that's the life of a joker!!!
"But...then the Question remains,Who`s the Joker"?
“Aaj Raju Ko Mat Roko; Aaj Ussey Duniya Ko Saabit Karna Hai Ki Duniya Ka Sabse Bada Joker Wahi Hai” :) :)
Monday, December 8, 2008
the rear view..

I remember,
failing in the History exam in VI,
I wept till my eyes turned pink...
was new in the school, teacher gave an ugly look,
said..another looser comes here..
Don't wanted to face Dad..
felt like running away somewhere..
I remember,
the Finals with APS,L in XI,
last wicket,eight runs per over..
A freaky bowler and an aching head,
but the game depends on me the coach said...
The very second ball, I saw my bails go in the air,
disappointed,deserted, disintegrated everything i was,
wanted the pitch to sink and fossilize me than and there..
I remember,
my breakup in the III yr,
I ran and ran to catch up the time,
hoping like always some,how i 'll make things fine.
nothing got sorted, time dint stop
saw my pyramid of hope, crumbling from the top..
Realising not all life's best things stay forever...
I remember Roomil leaving us forever, last year,
I didn't cry, not even a single tear,
Stood dere and watched my bestest buddy go up in flames..
Just felt like looking up and asking god..
why was I the chosen one always here..
As I sit here and remember.
a billion such craps that i have survived..
fell ,rose and fell again,
but never gave up int the game called life..
I might not have still figured ,
how winning is done..
but some how along the course of life I have learned,
the way living is done..
though the elementary lesson of cricket still hold on,
life is one bouncy track..
the ball will not always come on to your bat..
stay on the pitch,keep moving your feet..
Someday,you will learn to live that bouncy pitch..
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Life@rear mirror...
I took my soul and left
my world in a rear mirror
I tried to run and I did try
but the light came by and by
and your face would reappear..
then i thought maybe these clouds will someday clear,
and with me my beliefs will adhere
but you left when u decided to
we became unstuck when u wanted to
Was fate ever in my hands???
Ever gave it a thought,
when we both become a memory
will I finally be me?
Driving looking at my face
I promised myself,i will never give up my pace..
'coz its you that made me see
the garden past that big old tree.
I still owe you that..
Maybe i should thank the mighty believer,
for building the rear mirrors
the light still shining in
you left...and now I begin...:)
Friday, November 21, 2008
Remembrance...
Someday we will know, where does an aviator goes
When their work on earth is through.
Where the air is clean, and the engines gleam,
And the skies are always blue.
They have flown alone, with the engine's moan,
As they sweat the great beyond,
And they take delight, at the awesome sight
of the world spread far and yon.
Yet not alone, for above the moan, when the earth is out of sight,
As they make their stand, He takes their hand,
and guides them through the night.
How near to God are these men of sod,
Who step near death's last door?
Oh, these men are real, not made of steel,
But He knows who goes before,
And how they live, and love and are beloved,
But their love is most for air.
And with death about, they will still fly out,
And leave their troubles there.
He knows these things, of men with wings,
And He knows they are surely true.
And He will give a hand, to such a man
'Cause He's an aviator too.
P.S-Dedicated to Roomil...my bestest childhood buddy, a brother rather, an amazing prankster and an aviator with Indian Air Force..A true son of soil..he left us in a mishap while his paradiving training mission..Had a great love for flying...eventually he died doing what he loved the most....Flying.
Champ!! its still hard to believe that one complete year has passed since you left us..at times when i am facing life's blue it feels that you wil just swoosh inside and cheer up everyone..Dunno where you are dude..bt I am sure you will be Rocking there too:)..roomu, the the girls n clement town are getting hotter re..missed you there a lot this time..Oye!! you still owe me that beer..remember....hope to see ya again someday...somewhere buddy..keep rockin!!mising ya!
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Resurrection..

It was a not so warm morning of the month of March. The sun was struggling hard to prove the arrival of summer, but he was still not able to prove his dominance to the world…few more months and world will swear by his strength.
I was waiting for VP at the bus stand. Like always the bastard was late again. This wasn’t my first trip to Chandigarh...but yeah…destiny had stored something to make this trip an unforgettable one for me.
Unknown by this fact I kept moving my head here and there…appreciating the masterpiece of Le Corbusier (the Swiss-French architect who designed Chandigarh). Wondering if someday I will too give my masterpiece.
Just then I saw a girl (rather she caught my attention) with a familiar face getting down from bus.It took a nanosecond for my mind to recognize her. Ya! It was SHE.
Slowly and cautiously she was moving towards me.
I was seeing her after a very long time (perhaps 3 and half year or 1345 days to be precise). Last time I saw her was when we came to school to collect our XII class-passing certificate.
Somebody had told me about her moving to Chandigarh…but then I thought if things aren’t in your hand why care for them?
Anyway I again tried stealing a few glances of her, just to confirm my heart that it was SHE only..
She was wearing a light yellow colored salwar-kameez with a hell lot of embroidery work on it…with her hair let loose. A naughty tress of her hair was continuously trying to fall forward and touch her cheeks and she was carefully settling it behind her ears.Man!! How these girls make even a simple thing look so beautiful!!
And in ear she wore golden round earrings that were large enough to become bangles.
God!! She was looking damn beautiful. And than,I realised, she has changed a lot too.
The regular short skirts and sleeveless tops were replaced by carefully dressed salwar kameez. The hairs once carefully tightened into rope like structure called "choti" were now let loose, to fall freely in any direction…and bangles whom once she once considered too girly …were making tinkling sound…only to make my heart go crazy.
My so cute TOMBOY, who used to fight guys for saving her lunchbox, had turned so girly…but then with this she had become even more desirable. Every time I stole stares at her she was becoming more and more desirable.
Her taste in guys might have changed…but there was something that hasn’t changed…she was cute then…and was cuter now too. She was beautiful then and was turning inevitable now too.
For a moment flashback of school days engulfed me…those basketballs trials when she would bring water for me in her bottle…the days when I used to teach her physics and impatiently shout when she was not able to carry out simple integration problems…the zillion sessions of watching TOP GUN together..the bus ride back to hope....and then the day when it all fell apart…when we turned our back to each other…when we broke up.
A loud honk shattered my dream.It was VP..Cricket or life this bastards timings have always been pathetic. He used to get me run out then..he gt me run out this time too..
She was a few feet far from me…I tried my best to turn my face away from her. Perhaps the ego problem still persisted in me..or maybe I do not wanted VP to see her & make an issue out of nothing.. Lossed somewhere in her thought (perhaps yar, they were not about me) she passed me. Around two feet far from me.
While passing her fragrance took me over…. only to realize that her taste in perfumes has also changed...
This was the first time in life we passed so closed to each other as complete strangers. No hi! No hello…nothing…we just passed away. It had never happened in two years of schooling that we did together. I repeat the word ”together” with double inverted commas. Yeah…from the moment we reached school to the moments we left for our home…we were all together…and today we have passed like strangers. Atleast ,I thot..Atleast I could have said a stupid Hi!!..bt no Iwasn't ...Time man… time…it can change everything.
“Rikshawale bhaiya”…somewhere from my back I heard the familiar voice (after 945 days) from the cutest creature on this earth. The voice not only made my eardrums but each and every cell of my body to vibrate…now I m not a medical student who can explain this phenomena…but this was something unusual…never happened to me before…
All I can say is there was a RESSURECTION of a long forgotten desire that made me to rather my heart to……….
Sorry, The words ceased to flow like everytime whenever I think about her…
Saturday, November 15, 2008
नियति..
उड़ान ,
विचारों की मेरे,
हैं ऊची.....बहुत ऊंची...
आकाश जितनी॥
पर अक्सर ..
उड़कर ऊचा,
गिरता हूँ नीचे..बहुत नीचे॥
की पहुँच जाता हूँ कही पाताल की गहराइओ में,
और फ़िर पड़े-पड़े वही,
औंधे मुह... सोचता हु,
की थी जब नियति गिरने की...
तो की ही क्यूँ कोशिश उड़ने की॥
कोसता हूँ,
कभी ख़ुद को... कभी फलक को।
और फ़िर सोचते सोचते ,बदलता हूँ करवट...
फ़िर दीखता है वही धुला आसमान...
और फ़िर दोबारा शुरू हो जाती है... एक नई उड़ान :)...
इसी प्रकार बार-बार दोहराती है "नियति", मेरा इतिहास ॥
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Begining of an end...

Rahul Dravid once commented, "On the off-side, first there is God, then there is Ganguly”.
Now there will only be God, since dada would be retiring this Monday.A Tiger in true sense. He wore his heart on his sleeve, led his team passionately, ruffled feathers of one and many. All said and done, he did everything what a batsman needs to do to prove himself to be world-class.
Dada said farewell to cricket after 12 glorious years and at times controversial seasons in the highest level of the game. But for cricket, it`s not merely the loss of an icon, rather of a born fighter, who led his country with passion and shrewdness and would go down as one of the best captains in the annals of cricketing history.
My affection for dada takes me back to 6th class…I had recently discovered my love for the game…. Sahara Cup was on during those days and a guy called Saurav Ganguly, left handed batsman and right arm bowler, like me.(though I was a spinner) was ransacking the pakis bastard’s camp like hell in Toronto…and I knew who was my role model in cricket for now….the betest lefty..
I grew up imitating his every shot, his batting style, following up his each century, cheering each of his boundary …Most of you guys will laugh on it but believe me was so obsessed with him during the 1999 WC that every note book I bought in 9-10 class had a picture of Dada on it…
Still remember the Independence Cup match of January 99, as
There was no looking back after that, his heroic 183 against the Sri Lanka in WC’99 …The Natwest Trophy final win in 2002 against England after heroic performances by Yuvraj Singh and Mohammad Kaif brought out the spontaneous passion ingrained in the man, who celebrated by taking off his shirt and fluffing it in the air from the Lords balcony…Yeah!!
In
But for me the greatness Dada lay more in his approach to the game than mere statistical analysis. He was a fighter, a die-hard fighter…always refusing to give up..his immence belief on his brigade…the fearless spirit and his aggregation..
If Anil Kumble was the colossus, Sachin Tendulkar the champion, Rahul Dravid the craftsman, VVS Laxman the sorcerer, then Ganguly was the inspiration.
Throughout he has toyed with his fate, tempting it to turn its back on him so that once again he could surprise the world with a stunning restoration. Something in him rebelled against the mundane and the sensible. He needed his life to be full of disasters and rescues, and comebacks and mistakes and memorable moments. To hell with the prosaic. At heart he is a cavalier, albeit of mischievous persuasion.
With 85 on Friday,just falling 15 runs short to complete his fairytale endings…its just so ironic that his fate has once again has eluded him…still there is one more inning to go.. I hope we’ll get to see some real action…
Huh!!!
To a place far from here
No one will see us
Watch the pain as it disappears
Wont you come with me
Salvation well share
Inside of my head now
Theres room for us there"
As I sit here listining to the strain of "Return to Serinity", I wonder if it would ever...
Friday, October 31, 2008
Ambition...
Trapped in the oceanic whirl,
Thought for being at the beach…
Without caring for broken legs,
Tried to conquer the highest peak…
Wanted to see the hydrosphere,
As a mighty drop inside ostrich beak…
Thought for walking barefoot over the mighty sun’s surface,
And to see from there every planet, like a perpetual blossom around thy face….
You need light,
I am a fading lamp…
You like attics,
I am a camp…
You like calm & peace,
I am a champ…
You desire soft and tender,
I am hemp…
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Happy Diwali!!

Have a prosperous Diwali. Hope this festival of lights, brings you every joy and happiness. May the lamps of joy, illuminate your life and fill your days with the bright sparkles of peace, mirth and goodwill, because you are someone who deserves life’s best and so much more. Have a joyous Diwali and new year.
Happy Diwali to you and your family..enjy!!
Hitler's: The Enigma of a Dark Lord

I’d like to share a revelation with you, it came to me when I was doing nothing ( as usual) and just going through what I had written in my post about the Dada..
But what got me thinking was Hitler….(??!!) every time I have ever heard of the man...he was described as an evil man, a demon, the devil himself...etc etc…and no doubt .the events that occurred in the world at that time , it was probably justified to call him so, I am not , never was , n never will be a big history freak , but the Nazis intellect , and their ideology was one thing that fascinated me...wht..!!!u say??. How can I say such a thing!!!..well lemme explain.
I am no fan of their bullshit, but what interests me is that how did one man, on so called mad man, manage to convince the entire population or at least a sizable majority of it , to blindly follow him into their destruction and humiliation.
So the question that recurs in my mind is that , was this man really evil or insane, have to clarify that these two words have completely different meanings, I believe that he was insane, not pure evil, though the acts committed by his followers were evil to the bone..
Whats the difference?..you will ask?!
I have read or at least tried to read his autobiography Mein Kampf…couldn’t read more than a 100 pages cause half of what he wrote went completely over my head, wt did go in gave me this picture, his childhood was a very disturbed time,, not like the one we encountered today,(heart breaks n all).. but his problems were social, all around him , things were degrading, disintegrating in shambles...and he was a poor man angry with the system…and that system is what he tried to fight against.
His book was all about the discrepancies of communism, democracy, ( Hell !!!..his description of a session of parliament in Vienna that he observed was so similar to the ones that happen here today in India ,,,that I just burst out laughing:), and even then, there, the politicians were just as useless and selfish as now. So here we have a angry young man, poor, frustrated, and losing faith in everything around him ,,,and what does he sees…the prosperous Jews, and that’s how the tragedy began,
But I guess one man alone in that state of mind cannot do anything, so just goes to show how bad things were in Germany at that time, that when a young Adolf Hitler began to cry out against Jews n other communities , there was tremendous support for his what otherwise would have been mad rambling,, ( compare this to what the RSS, VHP, Shiv Sena do to the hindu population in India,, ) and there you have it , DISASTER.
So what am I trying to prove you will ask me, I don’t know for sure ,cause I don’t know the entire fact yet, but from what a 22 year old has read in his history books and a few novels, and also from watching discovery channel , I think Hitler started out with a picture in mind for a better Germany , but ended up controlling the reins of the most murderous bunch of bastards ever to be seen in this world, and another thing compared to them (and these are specific people of top nazi command ) Hitler was sane, these men were the ones who thought up about the concentration camps that brought about the holocaust, there is also a matter of honor Hitler when he stood defeated as Russian tanks rolled in to Berlin, took his own life, unlike some of his most loyal followers and the real hands behind the Nazi war, who ran away to live in hiding in countries all over the world with the money they plundered from their own people. But what is done is done, no one will ever know what the real Hitler was, we will only what his then enemies will want us to hear about him. And if now you are wondering why after more than 50 years and Indian kid is talking about Hitler, this is the reason .
Let us assume for once that Hitler never existed, that he never created the Nazi ideology, and that the events that the changed the face of the earth all those years ago , never happened, no world war II, good??, or bad??.
Here’s what I think, the war raged on for almost 5-7 years, and in that period of time, England was brought to its knees, the greatest imperial power in the world was using every resource it had, financial and human, in to the war effort. And in the end, it left that power weak , financially, emotionally , physically. Great Britain was too weak to control its largest colony; INDIA. So there, England was in shambles and it needed all its men n women to come to its rescue to rise again, but at the same time the freedom movement in India couldn’t be kept in check because of the preoccupation of all the brits in the war. And so they retreated, decided that India was no longer in their control and left. (of course thanks to their divide and rule policy , our country was spilt into 2 and we been fighting ever since) but they left.
Now back to our earlier assumption that the war never happened; great Britain would have remained in all its glory the greatest imperial power in the world, America would be the new world trying to cut its teeth in to the world economy, India would have remained as a beautiful crown jewel in the British crown , its most prosperous colony.
What about India’s freedom struggle, it would be suppressed, divided by a shrewd British rule where it would probably have to lie in shadows, fighting like guerillas like the Chechens are doing now in what’s left of Russia, or maybe , in due time, the Indians would have accepted the British way of life. Mahatma Gandhi, Nehru, Sardar Patel and Jinnah even couldn’t have lived for ever, after them maybe the new breed of Indian leaders would be pro british. Don’t know how it would go from there,but maybe we could have been more prosperous, more advanced, like Hong-Kong. ( now there’s an example of brit rule for you)..Maybe they wouldn’t have the same plans for India...but he u never know..
So,makes ya think doesn’t it, it far far away, a man called Hitler hadn’t done what he did. Our past , our present , our future could have been so very different.
But looking at the state of our country today, how do you feel ,, good ?? or bad??
Friday, October 24, 2008
Salute!!

This is to a man who taught me how to fight...
a man who showed others that we are not here for charity...
who dared to be aggressive when everybody else had their tails in their legs...
a man who brought aggression, passion and fire in the team....
a man who decided what is right n wrong...
a man who broke the usual path...
a man who was insulted by his own people for breaking the rules
This is to a man whom I support...to the only "MAN" the Indian team has had...
This is to Saurav Ganguly...my inspiration of life time, a die hard fighter..somone who made me believe that whatever the pundits say...with your guts u can always prove them wrong....
You play or you don’t …Dada, I ‘ll be your fan forever…

